eventual marriage
Mary and DeWayne have been dating for over two years, and they have discussed their eventual marriage. Mary’s whole world centers on DeWayne, and she thinks about him constantly. But DeWayne has seemed less interested in the relationship recently and has broken several dates, saying he has too much work to do. On one occasion, when he is supposedly studying, Mary spots DeWayne strolling into a restaurant with another woman. When she confronts him the next day, DeWayne tells her that the relationship is over and that he’s met someone else. Mary is devastated. She stops eating, starts skipping classes, and starts to drink in the early afternoon, sometimes fairly heavily. Her friends worry that she appears listless and depressed. Mary’s situation is not all that unusual, really. Relationships often can be a major source of stress in our lives. We see it in young children who want to be accepted by peers; but you could probably take it back even further and look at the early stages of development when we craved the attention and companionship of our parents. Why do you suppose relationships are major sources of stress for so many people? Why do some people handle relationships and stress differently? Write a brief evaluation of the situation above and explain what’s happening to Mary as a result. Were Mary’s perceptions and expectations of the relationship realistic and valid? Was DeWayne’s behavior appropriate? Is Mary’s reaction appropriate? What could have been done to prevent this situation? Why are changes in relationships so stressful for people? If you were Mary’s friend, what would you do to help her cope with her loss?
